Shadow Y Luz

Let’s dive in to what readers are writing in with. Remember, I can’t see your point, but I can still point out your bullsh*t!

Dear Dr. Doom n’ Gloom,
My boyfriend has not texted me back in 2 days. I’m steady checking my phone but there’s nothing. Am I exaggerating when I think he’s not interested? Or is there something I should be doing?
Sincerely,
Left Unread in Seattle

Dear Left Unread in Seattle,

Ahh, yes, the modern day horror story of being left unread while you stare at your phone like it owes you money.
Here’s the thing, my dear ghostee: if someone can vanish like a cheap magician’s trick, they are showing you their worth. It’s not much, so don’t chase after someone who is allergic to effort. If silence is his love language, let him bury his own echo.
Erase the thread, light a candle and repeat after me: “If they wanted to, they would do,” and go search for someone who knows how to use their thumbs.

Dear Dr. Doom n’ Gloom,
I can’t stop doom scrolling! The news, Twitter, Instagram, even the pop up ads. I know I’m checking out but I physically cannot put my phone down. What’s wrong with me?
Signed,
Scrolling Into the Abis

Dear Scrolling In “the abis”,
What’s wrong with you? Absolutely nothing! Your nervous system is just being highjacked by a trillion dollar attention casino and the ads are designed to trap you until your soul leaks out your eyeballs.
My advice: treat your phone like the flakey boyfriend in the last letter– drop it. Go outside, touch some grass or just pet a freaking cat. Every scroll is like a spoonful of poison, disguised as candy. Set a timer. Cut the cord. Reclaim your brain before it becomes another Apple product.

Closing line from the oh so wise Dr. Doom n’ Gloom: keep writing in, my little disasters because remember: therapy is expensive but my sarcasm is free.