Shadow Y Luz

Spooky season is upon us, kinda, so goes my tales of horror.

Try sitting in your office, white cane leaning against the desk, screen reader paused and coffee still hot enough to scald the damned.

Tick.

Tock.

Silence.

You check the clock like it owes you money and in this case, it does. The only thing this clock is counting down to is my own execution.

The empty couch across from me has more commitment than half my caseload. I swear I can hear it mocking me, creaking softly, whispering, “you naïve  fool, no one is coming.”

And then suddenly, my phone pings, finally! Except it bears bad news, yes, that soul sucking, “I can’t make it” echos in the void.

There’s a special kind of ghost that haunts Therapists when you no show. It’s not a Victorian age lady in a white gown or a vengeful poltergeist, no, it’s the ghost of a client repeating, “something came up.”

Something came up? Honey, the only thing coming up here is my blood pressure!

I sit in the darkness, (granted okay I know, that part is not optional for me), and imagine my client’s excuses forming themselves into a shadowless creature made up of “overslept”, “I forgot” and “I had a crisis.” Well dear client, I’m having a crisis to the tune of, “I’m still getting paid, right?”

And so the shadowless creature begins crawling across the room to me, because it’s the only thing that decided to show up. Except, well, I showed up. Therapy is supposed to be about connection and opportunity, but I swear sometimes it’s like trying to do a resurrection ritual without the dead.

I imagine that somewhere, is a support group for Therapists who were abandoned by their clients. It meets in a cold, dank basement with folding chairs and stale coffee.

We all sit in a circle, faces blank from the void saying, “Hi, my name is _____ and my 3:00 did not come.” So we nod in solidarity while the ghosts of our clients linger.

So, dear no show clients, if you ever stumble upon this post, know that the following is a PSA: if you EVER no show your Therapist, know that we are sitting here in the cold empty void. Each time you vanish, the darkness only grows.

And one day, you might be the one sitting around, waiting for someone who never shows up.