Shadow Y Luz

Now accepting co-pays in emotional instability!

Hi. I’m your Therapist. Well, not really because I quite enjoy having an active license. This is the corner of the internet I am using to unload all of the demons I cannot exorcise from your sessions. I love my job. So much so, actually, that I ended up needing a Therapist for the Therapist. I call that paying it forward.

Do you doubt my wisdom? I would normally say that is fair, but you are wrong. I’ve been told, (by myself to myself), that it is called recursive burnout and it is 100% legit. Alas, I can no longer resort to deep breathing and affirmations that sound more like hostage negociations with my frontal lobe.

Here’s my rough outline for a book I’m writing titled, “Boundaries Are For Quitters”:

Session 1: Your mommy/daddy trauma is not special

If I had a dollar for each time someone came in with mommy/daddy trauma, I would own a villa in Italy, enjoying skewered delicacies while hand feeding anti-depressants to horses. But here we are.

Listen, your parent did a number on you. They probably told you you were crying for attention while sowing trauma yarn into your Halloween costume. I’m not minimizing your pain, , I’m just saying your trauma is not unique, just customized.

Session 2: Stop dating people you want to “fix”

Real life is not a romcom and you will not get an Oscar for best protagonist starring as Captin save a h**. Think of all the trauma a and attachment issues you can skip out on if you just keep swiping. Trust me, your mom will thank me.

Session 3: Your coping skills are trash

Okay guys, getting hammered at 2:00 PM and smoking all 14 carts or cigarettes is not coping. In fact, you are not sophisticated or cultured for crashing out at a winery or brewery. What about retail therapy? Shopping till you drop won’t make you feel better because nothing can drop as fast as your credit score.

Session 4: You’re not burntout, you’re just bored with 1st world problems

you are not having an existential crisis. You are not burnt out if you get tired of the hamster wheel life. Go do your laundry, clean your bathroom and brush your teeth. Let’s all be thankful that we no longer have to huddle around a campfire inside of a cave.

Session 6: Inner child? You’re a full grown adult

Stop ugly crying over that dollhouse or Lego set your parents never got you when you were a kid. Your inner child is now middle-aged and has a mortgage to pay. South victimization is not cute. 

The Final Cut

I 100% love my job. This blog post is cheeky. If you have ever had me as a therapist, you know I am kind hearted and Patient. But for God sake, let’s all put away the mental health merch and stop assuming we are all on the spectrum because TikTok self-help Therapy told you so. Just admit you like to play with fidget toys. I promise it’s not a big deal.

And with that, we are at time. See you next week!